The Taboo Topic Of Pain

There are multiple types of pain. There is the aching pain of a healing bone, the stabbing pain of a thorn or other flesh wound, the deep uncomfortable pain of cramps or stomach problems, the sore pain after working out, the pain of regret, the pain of hating, the pain of being hated, the pain of injustice, the pain of helplessness, the pain of losing something wonderful, the pain of failure, the pain of rejection, the pain of causing another pain.

Just as pain can be of the muscles, bones, surface flesh each in turn hurting differently the pain of the heart and soul cannot be categorized the same.

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People desire to see people happy, so that's what we give them. ask "How are you?" Ever had someone who  tells you everything going on, or sobs on your shoulder? No, we don't. It is not socially acceptable to relieve yourself of your burdens by sharing them with others. We are told not to "air out our dirty laundry" or to bring others down by telling of our sorrows and fears.

The United States has high suicide rates. People kill themselves for many reasons, one of which being in such large amounts of pain they are unable to see a positive outcome for their future.According to save.org, 80% of people that seek treatments for depression are treated successfully. Which means getting help. talking about the issue usually helps. Talking about pain helps to ease it.

This here is a map of the suicide rates in different regions in the United States from 2000-2006

http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/suicide/statistics/suicide_map.html

I've learned through my life that cutting or physical mutilation can be used to express this pain if no one is talking about it. The person might feel there is so much pain inside that the only way to survive is to let some of it out, and to have a something physical to show what is going on inside.

They feel like they cannot express themselves because they have put on a mask. They have taken to heart the idea that wen must always look our best, like nothing is the matter. If we cannot manage that then we are unsuitable for public. So they construct these perfect masks of high energy and smiles and beauty to hide the ugly. They have been told, "Smile, and act happy" either explicitly or implicitly, either way they have been told that is how they must act and hide the other part of themselves deep. Keeping it bottled until it explodes and they become another statistic.

For people some there is no body they can express themselves with, no one they can show this ugly side and still feel they can be loved. And in this way they are cut off from letting go of that pain.

I don't talk of pain that comes from a broken bone. That type of physical pain is not as painful as that of the emotional. The pain of losing a friend, the pain of seeing someone lose control of their lives. The pain from hate. The pain of helplessness. The pain of having no defenses left to fight through this rough life. The pain of having dreams crushed under the thumb of someone's carelessness. The pain of seeing a loved one hurting. 

This world is full of pain, yet we cannot share that. In fact I've seen society shun individuals that tried to express themselves with words that the world is tough on everyone, that those individuals are just weak. That they need to toughen up. They are too sensitive.

We are told to only see the beauty, to see the blessings of life and ignore the sorrow and pain. And how does that help? Making it taboo so no one talks of the ugly side of life? This only makes individuals think they are the only ones to go through problems like this. They feel alone and shut off from everyone else and their perfect happy lives.

What world do these people want? One full of tough, stone hearted people? Without the ability to feel the prick of a thorn or the drop of rain on their skin? Should we all get hide as tough as an ogres just to "fit in?" I say NO. I say let our souls be grazed by what happens to us and to what we see. And let us talk about it. Only through trials can we grow strong, and through helping others through theirs. How can we help if we know not of their trials? And how can we be helped unless we express ours?

I saw a cartoon comic recently that I can't find on the internet anywhere anymore, so I shall describe it. A man who is but a shadow rolls out of bed. He is not but haze of dreary hopelessness. He goes to his closet where there are multiple body suits. These suits have smiling fake faces and bright colors, and although you can clearly see the stitching it is a mask that people chose to see. He leaves his house dressed in this fake facade and passes others wearing the same body masks, and everyone pretends they can't see the problems, they just go on the same everyday putting on their facades. He has the appearance of contentment while he and everyone else is suffering. And in this world that is what we do, and when we see someone forget their facade we coerce them to return to "normal"

We survive by putting our lives together so carefully, with carefully constructed masks. We are taught to hide our pain and sorrows from the rest of the world, and only can reveal ourselves with loving friends.

I will announce that I am indeed human. I feel pain. And I hide it from people. Although pain is a taboo topic to be freely discussed, I cannot hide myself from it. I have found that by acknowledging pain, and finding the source, I can begin to heal. Pain is a difficult thing, and shying away from it will never solve the pain.

I also think that in order to feel the joy of watching a butterfly one must also understand sorrow. In my wanderings and adventures through live my soul is grazed my everything around me. I am effected by the air of a fluttering butterfly or the sunlight glancing of a dew drop, and I am also effected by the death of a tree taken my disease, and the struggle of an ant smuggling a crumb through the jungle of my lawn to feed the queen and larva.

My soul is grazed. I am effected by all.