Really Cool Bug

I found this REALLY COOL bug in our pond outside in the shallows so I scooped it up and identified it. That is a full sized post-it note behind it. A really large bug. I was looking up its name, it's common name is simply large water beetle, its scientific species is belostomatidae. The coloring is beautiful with greens and deep rich browns, unfortunately the picture doesn't do it justice.

My muddy boots, I was wadding through some deep mud.

Halloween

The week before and the week of Halloween brought us some new adventures. Around the corner there was a haunted house who was looking for actors. I and my hubby volunteered.We had a lot of fun. We were able to use the skills we had gained in acting from our pasts and work on getting those even better. Gordon had the role where he got to really freak people out with throwing them onto cousins and making them feel as though they truly were in danger. He didn't bother with the being creepy part. He went hard core on those poor people. The haunted house allowed us to touch people and even throw and move people who had signed a waiver. My role was a hostess where I was primarily used to help the flow of people. I worked as a fairly creepy role where I worked with my mask on, so no facial expressions and without a voice. I communicated solely on body language and hand gestures. Which was lots of fun. I found I accidentally used a lot of basic sign to communicate, it was fun to notice people who noticed and then would sign back.

For Halloween itself we went to the Spencer's home and a neighbors for scones and to hang out with neighborhood friends. Gordon, and others, had been telling me I look a great deal like Rose Tyler from Doctor Who. I suppose I look a bit like her, but not too much. But because I wanted to be lazy for Halloween I chose to be Rose. Gordon went as a mug shot. 

We came home one night to find this little kitten on our doorstep being cold and meowing at us. So naturally being a kind hearted person, we let her in for the night were she promptly climbed into bed with us and spend the night sleeping on Gordon. We let her out the next morning and she wouldn't go home, she didn't leave our door. We wondered what we were going to do with her. I called up the animal shelter in the area and asked if anyone had been looking for such a cute thing, nobody was. I assumed she hadn't wandered far from home. But we look precautions to see if she would work at my sister's who already had a cat. The cats didn't enjoy each other, so we took her back to our place where we let her out and were only going to let her back in the house if she still hadn't found her home by that night. Luckily our neighbor was out looking for her and saw her trailing after my feet to our apartment. It was a very happy reunion.

Wedding

We Got MARRIED!!!!!

It was short. Simple. In the mountains. Very much on a budget. I think in total it was $100.00. Including the dress and what not. Yep, we're awesome.

Auto accident

I got myself in a car accident. Can't remember much about it, I lost that memory to my concussion. Only missed one day, hopefully thats all I will need.
Crash happened while I was on the job, totaled both cars, my works car and the other girls. Idk how bad she was hurt, she was conscious and what not when the ambulance took her away after having to cut her out if her car for fear of a back injury. I hit her drivers side tire with the front drivers side of my pickup truck.

It was not the proudest moment of my life. So my fiance watched me and my sister's kids (I had already agreed to watch them before the accident) Luckily he's an EMT and wouldn't freak out if something weird happened to me because of the concussion. I had really fun twitches for like 2 months afterwards :( yea, not fun. But only when I was falling asleep, and they were way worse then the normal leg twitches and you wake up situations. Anyways, they did a CT scan. They said I was normal and all that. 

Work Fun

I work in the office/shop where things can get a bit monotonous. So what do we do? Shake it up!

Practicing our fish-tail braiding

Saw this sign and I had to laugh. Exactly 2 1/2 miles. not 3.

IT guy's last name is Belnap. and apparently a Belnap got this formula named after him. I have no idea what its for.

So he made me a name card that said AMANDA backwards

This was just too funny. Yes it is easier to lay across the entire desk than to walk around a couple more feet and sit in the chair

There is a tree growing in the middle of the Stop sign post. No joke.

Sometimes I can mess up words. that is supposed to be "We can sit in the shade of the steeple"

He turned 30. so we decorated his office in black balloons

I found this in my window one day. It was taped to the outside.

Fishing That Became Swimming That Became Hypothermia

So back to the last weekend in May my sister and her family and I went to a lake way up in the mountains to go fishing. My brother in law wanted to do some fishing. I call it boring fishing, where it is too much sitting watching the pole and not enough having the pole in my hand. I am more of a cast and reel kinda gal. So he had multiple rods out (officially one was mine and one was my sister's). We never caught anything. Mainly I helped my sister watch her two kiddos on the beach keeping them from falling into the water. The water was way too cold for them and we hadn't brought swim floaters or anything for them. During my watching time, my sister yelled out "Grab that box" the wind had caught our box and launched it into the shallows. So naturally I splashed into get it. The mud was deep and quickly caught both flip flops in a couple steps. I did get the box. I returned for my flip flops. I only ever found one. And it was about a foot deep in mud.
I think my sister got a pic of how deep the mud was. I remember it being up mid shin. 
As mentioned I was getting a bit bored my my brother-in-law's fishing technique so I tied on a lure, not the fake flavored cheese like stuff he was using and tried some cast and reel a bit farther down the bank. I was trying to be cautious of some rocks in the shallows. But of course I got caught on them. And because my shorts are already soaked from earlier adventures I ventured out to get my lure. I got about half way there before I realized that the rocks suddenly dropped off a bit farther down. so instead of just getting my shorts wet, I would hafta do some swimming for a couple feet to get to the rocks that had my lure. I go for it. I am a good swimmer. I hadn't been noticing my surroundings and only barely was able to navigate around a canoe headed right for me being steered by a little 10 year old who obviously did not have much experience behind the paddle. If I remember correctly I had to shove the boat way from me to keep it from broadsiding me. Yea, not the best driver. Anyways, the dad who was also in the boat asked if I needed any help - I was wearing a fishing hat and didn't look like I was planning a dip for the day. I said yes, If he could grab my string and pull it away from shore to unhook the hook. After some entertaining maneuvering they were able to do just that with me calling out directions, while perched in chest deep water a few feet away. I then, with hook careful not to hook myself, I returned to shore. I was REALLY cold. cold enough that I could not feel my feet, which was bad because as it turns out I cut them up really good the the submerged rocks, but luckily I couldn't feel how cold they were. I went up to a bathroom area (I think there was innumerable amounts of rattlesnakes I had to walk past with bare feet, and lots of cacti and other thorny plants) and used the hand dryer to dry off some, but mostly I rapped myself in a beach towel and waited to go home. The sun set shortly there after and we all hopped back in the car to return home. In total I was cold and wet for about 2 hours. I was having a hard time warming up so once I got home I wrapped myself in a few fleece blankets, wool socks, sweatshirts and sweatpants and worked on bring my core temperature back up to normal.

The Lake

A flower.

Timp Half

I am a failure as a blogger. I must enjoy doing things than talking about them, and I seem to be doing a lot of things.

So we are registered to run a half marathon on the 27th of July. And I haven't run in a month - I got busy hanging with Gordon, and the time flew by- so we started running on Tuesday. I am so sore! It is rather embarrassing that I have gotten so weak so quickly.

IDK what my hair was doing in this pic...

So we ran the thing. And neither of us died. But this was the week after my auto accident - which I'll blog about shortly (yes I know I'm getting this all out of order). So I was mainly working on staying up right. Gordon stayed with me. Most of the time. The last mile I finally convinced him that I wouldn't die or collapse or anything, so he sprinted ahead, then came back and throw me onto his shoulder and ran me to the finish line, where I am proud to say I crossed all by myself. Well I think I was still holding his hand. Turns out was met with some old friends that we weren't expecting, and very present surprise.

We spend the rest of the weekend wishing we never had to walk again. or go up or down stairs.

Oh, and we got shirts and metals for completing it :)

Engagement July 2, 2013

I got engaged! most amazing man EVER!

We had been talking about marriage, and we both realized the other knew they wanted to marry the other person. So Gordon (Fiance) told his grandmother, who then surprisingly gave him her wedding ring. He didn't know she still had it, she had been a widow for many years. Gordon called me up and asked me if I was available to see this ring his grandmother gave him. I was honestly concerned when I heard that. If it was ugly, how do I not accept Grandma's ring? I was very concerned I would end up offending someone. So I cautiously looked at the ring.
IT WAS PERFECT!

My elder sister, Kassie, even said that if was to choose a ring, in a full jewelry store, I would have picked that one. It looked like "me."

So one day, a day that I thought the ring was still getting re sized, Gordon took me up the side of the mountain, we could see the sun setting over the valley and lighting up the Timp LDS Temple into a beautiful pink. Gordon's friend came along with us, and caught the entire scene on videotape. I have not yet seen the tape. I will add it to the blog once I get a chance.

So as we were hanging (in hindsight Gordon was a bit tense) I noticed part of the lawn was perfectly sloped for a good roll. So naturally I rolled down the mountain. And Gordon followed me. Maybe a bit too closely, I had to dodge out the way at the bottom. So as I regained my balance I walked over to Gordon who was a bit father down the hill and was still on both knees. As I walked over I reached my hand out to help him up. He caught my hand. And looked me in the eyes. And I could see all the nervousness and love there. And I probably looked like a deer caught in the headlights as he pulled his other arm from around his back and had a graceful velvet jewelry box, and inside it the ring. My ring. My wedding ring. He then asked me, using my name if I would be his wife. I somehow found my voice and said "yes." 

The rest of the story involves kissing, and him picking me up and twirling me in joy and me tearing up from the almost tangible love and joy that we could both feel. But I'll leave out those kinda sappy details.

Update

Hey all! I haven't posted in a while, so quick update on my life: I am married, and moving to Fairbanks, Alaska. Any questions? Feel free to ask them in comments.

Jesse's work for dinner

Today we ate gyros and sweet potato fries courtesy of Jesse's work. We waited around after closing to take Jesse back home with us, and so the kids were turned loose.
Hazel was practicing her runway walk and smiling pose at the end, I got it on camera here.
Emmett tried to do the same, but he did a lot of flailing when he ran. Of course he ran. He's two, almost three, and if given the choice he prefers to run.

 I got a bit bored and lazy and laid down for a bit to get a better angle for the runway shots

Emmett sitting like a big boy on the bench

 Kassie holding Hazel to look at Dad as he was cleaning up after dinner

Over all it was fun hanging out with Kassie and her kids, even with them screaming like a banshee and Kassie calling my face horse like.

In the Mountains

On Monday, Memorial Day, I went for a hike on G-mountain with my friend Matt. G-mountain really is just a mini mountain sitting on the toes of Mount Timpanogos, that happens to have the white G that over looks the city of Pleasant Grove. So naturally while on this hike we have some lovely views and I remembered to snap a couple quick pictures of us posing showing off our awesomeness on the edge of huge drop. I was terrified I was going to slip and die. Matt on the other hand is a human version of a mountain goat and he had no problem balancing on the edge of an assured death.

So the G, as mentioned, is white, but once we got there we found it was rather green from the grass and shrubbery growing between the white plastic paneling. and there was spots where it was once painted red by a rival high school showed through the white repaint. We also noted a generator near by, which on the night of graduation lit the G with white Christmas lights.

Most of the hike was through rock, sand, coarse grasses, and scrub oak. I found myself missing my marsh/prairie/forest of my home in Wisconsin. This picture was taken accidentally when Matt was trying to figure out my camera, and it is a good example of the biological diversity. Please note the amount of "life" is in this picture on the left, compared to that I am used to in Wisconsin picture on the right. The Wisconsin picture was taken last autumn at Kettle Moraine State Park

View of Pleasant Grove from the top of the G

That Wednesday after I found myself again in the mountains. A group of guys were going climbing up this waterfall. and I agreed to come along. These guys convinced me that the rope was actually going to support me, and my harness as well so I didn't need to cling on for dear life. I still held on much tighter than I needed, but at least I got my arm workout for the day. So this picture is of me, in the black, repelling down the side of the waterfall. I am glad I did it, and I want to do it again.

Strange Anomaly

My dear mother called me a strange anomaly today while chatting via telephone.
For those unsure of what anomaly means it is something that deviates from what is standard/normal/expected.
Some synonyms of deviate are veer, wander and stray (using dictonary.com for this game) and some other synonyms of stray are: meander, err, and roam. Which all comes back to being a roaming, wandering, stray, errant knight finding herself in strange and fascinating adventures.
So, yes mom, I fully agree I am an anomaly, and perhaps even a strange one. And as Calypso says to Davy Jones in Pirates 3, "It is my nature. Would you love me if I was anything but what I am?"

The Taboo Topic Of Pain

There are multiple types of pain. There is the aching pain of a healing bone, the stabbing pain of a thorn or other flesh wound, the deep uncomfortable pain of cramps or stomach problems, the sore pain after working out, the pain of regret, the pain of hating, the pain of being hated, the pain of injustice, the pain of helplessness, the pain of losing something wonderful, the pain of failure, the pain of rejection, the pain of causing another pain.

Just as pain can be of the muscles, bones, surface flesh each in turn hurting differently the pain of the heart and soul cannot be categorized the same.

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People desire to see people happy, so that's what we give them. ask "How are you?" Ever had someone who  tells you everything going on, or sobs on your shoulder? No, we don't. It is not socially acceptable to relieve yourself of your burdens by sharing them with others. We are told not to "air out our dirty laundry" or to bring others down by telling of our sorrows and fears.

The United States has high suicide rates. People kill themselves for many reasons, one of which being in such large amounts of pain they are unable to see a positive outcome for their future.According to save.org, 80% of people that seek treatments for depression are treated successfully. Which means getting help. talking about the issue usually helps. Talking about pain helps to ease it.

This here is a map of the suicide rates in different regions in the United States from 2000-2006

http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/suicide/statistics/suicide_map.html

I've learned through my life that cutting or physical mutilation can be used to express this pain if no one is talking about it. The person might feel there is so much pain inside that the only way to survive is to let some of it out, and to have a something physical to show what is going on inside.

They feel like they cannot express themselves because they have put on a mask. They have taken to heart the idea that wen must always look our best, like nothing is the matter. If we cannot manage that then we are unsuitable for public. So they construct these perfect masks of high energy and smiles and beauty to hide the ugly. They have been told, "Smile, and act happy" either explicitly or implicitly, either way they have been told that is how they must act and hide the other part of themselves deep. Keeping it bottled until it explodes and they become another statistic.

For people some there is no body they can express themselves with, no one they can show this ugly side and still feel they can be loved. And in this way they are cut off from letting go of that pain.

I don't talk of pain that comes from a broken bone. That type of physical pain is not as painful as that of the emotional. The pain of losing a friend, the pain of seeing someone lose control of their lives. The pain from hate. The pain of helplessness. The pain of having no defenses left to fight through this rough life. The pain of having dreams crushed under the thumb of someone's carelessness. The pain of seeing a loved one hurting. 

This world is full of pain, yet we cannot share that. In fact I've seen society shun individuals that tried to express themselves with words that the world is tough on everyone, that those individuals are just weak. That they need to toughen up. They are too sensitive.

We are told to only see the beauty, to see the blessings of life and ignore the sorrow and pain. And how does that help? Making it taboo so no one talks of the ugly side of life? This only makes individuals think they are the only ones to go through problems like this. They feel alone and shut off from everyone else and their perfect happy lives.

What world do these people want? One full of tough, stone hearted people? Without the ability to feel the prick of a thorn or the drop of rain on their skin? Should we all get hide as tough as an ogres just to "fit in?" I say NO. I say let our souls be grazed by what happens to us and to what we see. And let us talk about it. Only through trials can we grow strong, and through helping others through theirs. How can we help if we know not of their trials? And how can we be helped unless we express ours?

I saw a cartoon comic recently that I can't find on the internet anywhere anymore, so I shall describe it. A man who is but a shadow rolls out of bed. He is not but haze of dreary hopelessness. He goes to his closet where there are multiple body suits. These suits have smiling fake faces and bright colors, and although you can clearly see the stitching it is a mask that people chose to see. He leaves his house dressed in this fake facade and passes others wearing the same body masks, and everyone pretends they can't see the problems, they just go on the same everyday putting on their facades. He has the appearance of contentment while he and everyone else is suffering. And in this world that is what we do, and when we see someone forget their facade we coerce them to return to "normal"

We survive by putting our lives together so carefully, with carefully constructed masks. We are taught to hide our pain and sorrows from the rest of the world, and only can reveal ourselves with loving friends.

I will announce that I am indeed human. I feel pain. And I hide it from people. Although pain is a taboo topic to be freely discussed, I cannot hide myself from it. I have found that by acknowledging pain, and finding the source, I can begin to heal. Pain is a difficult thing, and shying away from it will never solve the pain.

I also think that in order to feel the joy of watching a butterfly one must also understand sorrow. In my wanderings and adventures through live my soul is grazed my everything around me. I am effected by the air of a fluttering butterfly or the sunlight glancing of a dew drop, and I am also effected by the death of a tree taken my disease, and the struggle of an ant smuggling a crumb through the jungle of my lawn to feed the queen and larva.

My soul is grazed. I am effected by all. 

Random Wandering Bug

I have found that energy is precious, and creatures don't prefer to waste any that they have so patiently gathered. Usually energy is used to either preserve life or to continue the species. I find it unusual when I come across energy being used for what appears to be no reason.

The other day I was in my large parking lot where I work and I noted a rather large beetle wandering in the middle of the asphalt expanse. So I wandered with him briefly. He had no apparent destination, except escaping the burning sun.

He was jet black and had the usual hard shiny covering of a beetle, but the legs were so long it was shocking. I took a couple pictures, but it doesn't do the insect justice.

The story doesn't have any sort of dramatic peak or ending. I watched it until It found shade where It rested and I returned to go on my way.

Not the most exciting thing, and probably not something that anyone really cares about reading. Mainly because most people will not find reading this worth their energy that they have so painstakingly set aside.

That is actually a good point. Us humans here in a situation where food and pure drinking water is easy to come by, the only limitation we have is on time. So rather than wasting your energy reading this you are thinking it is a waste of precious time. precious time that you might rather be checking facebook or watching some ad or standing in line or playing solitaire. Such precious time we "waste" doing things that bring nothing to our lives, with the exception of the completion of a game or knowing which burger looks the best.

My average day is spent working, where I gain income for furthering my education and experience in my field of study, sleeping, eating, and the rest interacting with people in my life or training for my half marathon coming up at the end of July.

I feel that my main goal in life is to gain wisdom, knowledge, understanding and to build relationships with others. I accomplish this by being observant of my world, being teachable (sometimes I can be very stubborn), and by spending my time and money gaining experiences and making great friends along the way

Blonde

I have been battling my blondness for years. I do try not to be ditsy, but I think my hair color sinks in through my scalp and messes with my brain. Usually I'm not too bad, although on Sunday while I was video chatting with my family I was talking about how I keep forgetting random things. The noise cut off so we resorted to ASL. My mom knows basic finger-spelling and such so I was slowly finger-spelling "ditsy." And I forgot the T. Hilarious. I am so ditsy I forget how to spell ditsy.
Blonde.

I will admit that I do like being blonde. I think it is really pretty. So because I am currently in Utah I want to make the best out of this dazzling scorching sunlight. On Saturday I put a couple tablespoons of lemon juice and went for an 7-8 mile wander.
I wandered over to my cousins and chatted for a bit, wandered past the LDS temple, and eventually wandered back with only a slight sunburn - forgot about sunscreen- and my highlights a bit lighter. This might be my new Saturday routine here: wandering with lemon juice.

Possibly one of my worst blonde moments that has suck to this day:
I was a freshman in highschool and I was in health class. I was being taught about breast cancer adn how to watch for potential signs of that. My teacher mentioned something about male breast cancer and before my brain could ctach up to my mouth I blurt, "How can guys get breast cancer? They don'y have boobs." and I remember everyone turning and looking at me as though I was insane. And I'm sitting there totally confused why everyone is staring at me. I had honestly forgotten that men had breasts.
Ok maybe that story isn't as terrifying as it seemed at the time, but let me assure you it scared me.

Errant Knight or Knight Errant

Some people have commented on the name of this blog. The phrase goes back for me to when I did forensics back in my high school days. I did a two man play that had 5 characters:  a knight, a doorman, a king, a queen, and a princess. The basic story is this eccentric knight wishes to marry this princess and through being simply frustrated kills her family, her, and himself. It sounds fairly morbid, but it is a great comedy  It one of those where I had to stop mid practice because I was laughing so hard I couldn't breath let alone give my next line. When the king was talking to the knight, he asked him if he was a errant knight or a knight errant. That phrase has stuck with me.

Some definitions from dictonary.com
Errant can mean either 1 wandering or in search of adventure like a questing knight, or 2 erring or straying from the norm.

I must admit I do tend to stray from the norm, not exactly rebelling, but more like blazing my own trail, exploring things off the beaten path. And I cannot say that I do not err. But possibly that's when I learn the most and so I am grateful for my mistakes.
I also have a tendency to wander. I do a lot of walking. Walking and pondering or meditating. I tend to find things, adventures, on my travels. Some of my travels are not but a couple miles away from where I go to school and my adventure may be a stream I jump and watching a native bee search for a home. And sometimes I cross the county or country or over oceans. And I have adventures with the people I meet or the creatures I come across. 
I have yet to slay a dragon or save a damsel in distress, but I have watched a spider spin her lacy web. I have seen the sunrise over the mountains or ocean or tree tops. I know how to catch house flies by hand and how a praying mantis eats them. I know heat stroke, and numbing cold. I know the biting wind and the humid air so thick I must have grown gills to survive.

I have talked to veterans who have sacrificed limbs for their county. I have seen the effects of driving without a seat belt, the white sheet placed gently upon the ejected. I have talked with new mothers and fathers with their eyes glowing as they look upon the life they brought into this world. I have seen them suffer as their child suffers.

So yes I wander off the beaten path of the day to day norm to satisfy my curiosity my going adventuring. I go questing every day I live, for everyday presents something new to behold. 

A couple quotes from the Hobbit and from The Lord of The Rings

Roads go ever ever on,
Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea;
Over snow by winter sown,
And through the merry flowers of June,
Over grass and over stone,
And under mountains in the moon.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

The Beginning Of A New Age

I have started a blog because people keep telling me they want to know what is going on in my life. In all honesty I hardly feel like I know what is going on in my life until after it all happens, but I shall do my best to announce to those who care about my "going on"s.

Mainly I will be posting pics and bragging about where I've been and my overall awesomeness. And probably ranting about rather unimportant things.

Read if you want, I'm doing this mainly for myself and for those who want to feel connected in some way.

Peace and Blessings